Secret To Life I Guess

So… being pretty much 40 years old, I figure I should share my wisdom thus far… a lot of us have ideas about “finding happiness” and yet the quest is never ending… or at least inconclusive for so many… I don’t think I’ll ever “find happiness” because of what I’ve gone through… I feel like I’m broken, permanently… but something I know I can do, is understand how to deal with my own life and emotions in a way that is manageable.

…so what does that mean?

First and foremost, listening to yourself… as in, taking a moment every day to make sure you are considering your own feelings, needs etc. so you don’t shut down completely.

Also… asking yourself, daily… what can you change to improve your life? Improve your chances at being there for those who need you…

For a long time, I kept failing, and… to be fair… I continue to fail.

I get bored of things all the time… I start and stop things… I’m all over the place… but something that has been progressive, is learning - you don’t un-learn yourself. Not in this context at least…

My progress, has been understanding that if your mind is incapable of certain things, essentially, you build a ramp to compensate. I’ve been exercising more recently, but I have knee issues, so, when pain comes, I listen, and I take measures to not worsen said issues. Same goes with pain in your heart, soul, etc.

Part of me starting this journal is making mandatory my daily reflection, to identify things that hurt me physically, emotionally etc - so I can survive.

What you may take from this is - asking yourself if you talk to yourself, and work on reducing your own pain, preventing things that lead down paths you don’t want to go, ultimately, what are the bumpers to your life? What are the choices you make to ensure whatever suffering you feel now, you can at least feel slightly less of in the future…

For example, my knees hurt, so I stay off them when they get bad. My heart hurts, I sleep… basically ceasing the addition to the emotional pain by preventing additional harmful info from being processed.

Like an oxygen mask on a plane, help yourself before anything else, because someone who doesn’t exist can’t help anyone.

Some people live to find happiness, and that’s great for them… but for many others, who cannot unsee or unfeel what they have felt, there’s just survival… we pretend we can transform, change our stripes… I’ve found that accommodating what is in front of you is far more effective than simply planning for days that may never come.