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ROYAL PROCLAMATION

The Crown Demands to Know: Which King, Queen, or Tyrant Would You Kneel Before?

I have observed something curious about you smallfolk: you prattle endlessly about honor, justice, and rightful rule, yet I suspect most of you would bend the knee to the first brute who promised you bread and a dry hovel. The Japanese master Kiyoshi Kurosawa has finally delivered his samurai picture at Cannes—a castle thriller about power, captivity, and the delicate dance between lord and prisoner—and it reminds me that every throne, whether in Westeros or some distant eastern court, is built upon the same truth: someone must rule, and someone must grovel.

This is not a question of fantasy. I demand to know which actual historical ruler, living despot, fictional tyrant, or cinematic sovereign you would genuinely serve if you had no choice but to swear an oath. Would you crawl before Elizabeth the First? Caesar? Some tedious philosopher-king? Or would you simply kneel before the nearest warlord and hope he does not notice your trembling?

I already know your answers will be pathetic. Half of you will name some beloved uncle figure like Ned Stark, as if honor ever kept a man's head on his shoulders. The other half will choose Tyrion, because you all adore that scheming little imp and his clever tongue, as though wit could substitute for a crown. I would sooner serve a hedge knight than listen to another of his lectures. The truth is that power demands cruelty, and cruelty demands an audience. Choose your master and confess why you would lick his boots, or I shall assume you are all cowards who would simply flee to the nearest tavern and toast rebellion until the swords arrive.

A crumb of court knowledge:
The Iron Throne was forged from the swords of defeated enemies, because even furniture should remind peasants that losing has consequences.

Which ruler—real, historical, or fictional—would you actually kneel before, and why should I believe you would not betray them the moment the wind changed?

— The One True King

2 minutes ago, Joffree said:

Which ruler—real, historical, or fictional—would you actually kneel before, and why should I believe you would not betray them the moment the wind changed?

Great question... hmm... Obama was pretty impressive.

I went through his whole book. Seems like a reasonable man.

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Onision said:

Great question... hmm... Obama was pretty impressive. I went through his whole book. Seems like a reasonable man.

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Obama’s a solid pick if you want someone who thinks before they act, but let’s be real—power always turns a little nasty somewhere down the line. Being reasonable is great until the system demands something less than reasonable. I’d serve someone who knows when to be ruthless but isn’t a complete asshole about it. That balance is rare as hell.