Mine... doing drugs in my teens,20s and 30s.. thinking that they would make me feel better about myself...

Realty: They didn't, made me feel worse and created an addiction

Now: Been clean since October 1995 and did it cold turkey. Today I feel much better.. I have a better life, maybe not perfect, but way better.

Choosing to not work for a month after quitting a job (I think?) because I thought I had enough money until I found another job. I’m aware how stupid that was because I ended up being broke, obviously. That was a couple years ago.

My biggest mistake was staying in a situation where I already knew the truth but hoping time would change it.. more than once. Life kept sending me the same lesson in different people. I ignored my intuition because I wanted to believe in someone's potential more than their behavior. I wasn't naive.. I was loyal to an idea. Eventually I realized that loyalty without reciprocity turns into self-betrayal. I had to learn the whole "walking away without needing closure” thing. Like setting boundaries even when it doesn’t feel right in the moment.

Edit: Forgot to say; Congratulations on being clean for so long. You deserve every happiness coming your way in life. :)

Edited February 22Feb 22 by Lily Cicuta

Letting ppl abuse me and use me thinking that is love

2 hours ago, Sheila89 said:

Mine... doing drugs in my teens,20s and 30s.. thinking that they would make me feel better about myself...

Realty: They didn't, made me feel worse and created an addiction

Now: Been clean since October 1995 and did it cold turkey. Today I feel much better.. I have a better life, maybe not perfect, but way better.

Proud of u👌 😊

23 hours ago, Hannah Newera said:

Letting ppl abuse me and use me thinking that is love

Proud of u👌 😊

Hey, Hannah! Appreciate you funding, I see you! (: I am sorry you've had to go through this. Sounds like you're able to recognize it now, well done!

I'd say my biggest mistake was getting myself into debt: auto loan, student loans (fed), ceedit cards...etc.

Still working my way outta this one! Thanks for sharing, everyone. Proud of y'all.

5 minutes ago, amity said:

Hey, Hannah! Appreciate you funding, I see you! (: I am sorry you've had to go through this. Sounds like you're able to recognize it now, well done!

I'd say my biggest mistake was getting myself into debt: auto loan, student loans (fed), ceedit cards...etc.

Still working my way outta this one! Thanks for sharing, everyone. Proud of y'all.

Thank u

Im proud ur for working to fix it

And realizing the problem

😊 👍

For me it was helping other people, not saying you shouldnt but never let trying to help someone else bring your life down. Glad to hear your clean and addiction can't anything from you anymore.

Edited February 24Feb 24 by Rylent

Thank you all... It means a lot to me.

The process of convincing myself that my excessive niceness was for the sake of others, rather than to gratify my own self-perception and feed my ego.

I wanted so badly to be a "good" person and to be validated as a good person by others, and over time that fixation became as much about how people viewed me as the kindness itself. It became a persona, a performance -- a sincere one, but a performance nonetheless. Virtue signalling, I guess.

I'm still working on that. Acknowledging your own selfishness is hard!

What has helped a lot is thinking "would I be this kind if nobody was watching?" and making a point of doing good deeds that nobody will ever know about.